December 2011
184 posts
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Nobody tells an actor, ‘you’re playing a strong-minded man.’ We assume that men...
– Meryl Streep, on being told that she often plays “strong-minded women.”
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I really wish Emmy would go online so she could listen to me rant about my new kindle :(
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TYPE YOUR NAME: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR EYES SHUT: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN: matthewe
SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: About 3 things i was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and i didnt know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him
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Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who...
– Lemony Snicket
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Mom- "Well, if you got off the internet and did...
Need a laugh? Click here!
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… I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul…
– Radiohead (via thatdrumcorpsguy)
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Putting more effort into tumblr then school
Need a laugh? Click here!
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